I have no clue what possesses some people! Lately I will be out in town doing an errand or ordering food, and someone will come up and ask me if they can hold my baby. Why would I ever just hand over my baby to someone that I don't even know? Yes I may have my hands full... yes I may be trying to balance several things... but there is NO WAY that I am handing my baby off to a complete stranger. None! Be truly useful and help me carry my tray, or carry the carseat, but no way will I give my most precious baby to a stranger!
Another issue that I have recently come upon is who to let hold J. Where I work, I come in contact with many people. Since I have been there for over 7 years, many of those people have become like family. I gladly let any of those people hold J. It is a huge help to me at times, and I greatly appreciate it, plus I know who they are and know that he is in safe hands. And then there are those who I barely know that ask to hold J, and I don't really feel comfortable just handing him over to them. For some reason, they expect the same trust that I have for others. Unfortunately, that trust isn't there, so I try not to hurt their feelings and make up some excuse. They of course see others holding him, so I am sure they know something is up, but I just can't hand my baby over to anyone! I need to know them... to trust them! Too much can happen in a blink of an eye, and I need to make sure that my children are safe no matter what. Still I feel torn.
Am I over-protective? Maybe a little. But to me, it just isn't worth the risk. I am the type of person that hates to hurt other people's feelings, but when it comes to protecting my children, I will do what I have to do. I wish that I could find the balance because I sometimes feel guilty for not trusting and not allowing people to hold J. Maybe this is just what being a parent is all about.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Sick Boys
Once again, we are battling colds in our house. M has a cold, which always means a runny nose and a terrible croupy cough. And while that usually wouldn't be cause for concern, it is when you have a 4 month old in the house. We are trying to explain to M about germs, and how he needs to do a few things to help keep his brother safe from those germs: cover his mouth and turn his head when he sneezes and coughs, wash his hands frequently, don't touch J, don't touch J's toys. But it is really hard to make a 2 year old understand that, while he loves his brother and wants to be near him and play with him, he really needs to keep his distance.
We have some friends who have a baby just a few weeks older than J who is in the hospital with RSV. It is scary how the common cold can bring that on a baby! And while we have already battled RSV once this season, we really don't want a repeat!
Germs are always such a scary thing. It was one of the things we feared when we first started to look for daycare for M when he was a year old. I am very fortunate with my job to be able to have my children with me till they are a year old. When that year mark came for M, we really were not looking forward to the increase of germs he would come in contact with. It has proven to be quite a challenge to keep M healthy, especially in the winter months. But I have to believe that overall, daycare has been good for him. Perhaps I will share all of those benefits another time. For now, I must run to wipe a nose.
Wishing you and your family healthy and germ-free days!
We have some friends who have a baby just a few weeks older than J who is in the hospital with RSV. It is scary how the common cold can bring that on a baby! And while we have already battled RSV once this season, we really don't want a repeat!
Germs are always such a scary thing. It was one of the things we feared when we first started to look for daycare for M when he was a year old. I am very fortunate with my job to be able to have my children with me till they are a year old. When that year mark came for M, we really were not looking forward to the increase of germs he would come in contact with. It has proven to be quite a challenge to keep M healthy, especially in the winter months. But I have to believe that overall, daycare has been good for him. Perhaps I will share all of those benefits another time. For now, I must run to wipe a nose.
Wishing you and your family healthy and germ-free days!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Mom vs Job
I have a great job that is very flexible, and allows me to keep my youngest with me for the first year of his life. My oldest goes to daycare three days a week. I am able to work from home when needed, which is a nice added bonus. I know that I am very fortunate to have the job that I have. A lot of moms aren't so lucky. That being said, being a full-time mom and have a full-time job can be both frustrating and exhausting!
These last few weeks have been especially busy for me. We have been dealing with illness, a broken foot that M received after jumping from a chair, and many doctor's appointments and physical therapy appointments. With all of this going on, I feel like I have been running non-stop. And even though I am allowed to miss time to do these things, I still have things at work that need to be done and hours that have to be made up. This has resulted in me doing work before I even leave the house in the morning, working in the evenings and on weekends, and once in a while, even working in the early hours when I am up feeding J.
All of this can be extremely exhausting, so much so that I don't really know if I am coming or going. It makes the days go by fast, but can be difficult to handle. I am lucky that my husband supports me and helps when he can, and also recognizes that I do a lot for the family. And while I wouldn't trade it at all, I sometimes have a very difficult job balancing it all, as well as find time for myself. I guess that is the plight of every mom, though. I just wish I had a roadmap to tell me how to balance it all and find the energy to do it!
These last few weeks have been especially busy for me. We have been dealing with illness, a broken foot that M received after jumping from a chair, and many doctor's appointments and physical therapy appointments. With all of this going on, I feel like I have been running non-stop. And even though I am allowed to miss time to do these things, I still have things at work that need to be done and hours that have to be made up. This has resulted in me doing work before I even leave the house in the morning, working in the evenings and on weekends, and once in a while, even working in the early hours when I am up feeding J.
All of this can be extremely exhausting, so much so that I don't really know if I am coming or going. It makes the days go by fast, but can be difficult to handle. I am lucky that my husband supports me and helps when he can, and also recognizes that I do a lot for the family. And while I wouldn't trade it at all, I sometimes have a very difficult job balancing it all, as well as find time for myself. I guess that is the plight of every mom, though. I just wish I had a roadmap to tell me how to balance it all and find the energy to do it!
Motherhood... the ultimate competition
Why are we so competitive as mothers? Why do we have the need to prove ourselves to others? Why must be always compare our children... our parenting styles... to others? Why must we always berate and belittle other mothers who are having a hard time or don't do things the way that we do?
I have always found this rather odd... yet, I also find myself caught up in this mess. I don't know why I feel that my children have to be better than everyone else's... why my children have to reach every milestone before every other child does. I don't know why I feel like I have to be a better mother than other mothers... or have all the answers. Honestly, getting caught up in all of it makes me feel even more stressed. I feel like I have to be the better mother... mother of the year. And sadly, I fall way short of that often!!
The really sad thing is the disservice myself and many other mothers do by trying to hide our faults and failures and struggles. Why can't motherhood be a learning experience, where we share what we are struggling with? Why can't we share our failures? Our fears? Why can't we use these as learning experiences? Why can't we use motherhood as a way to reach out to other mothers and form this strong bond where we become allies and cheerleaders for each other... where we help strengthen each other so that our children and ourselves can be even better?
That is my dream... a world where we as mothers can allow ourselves to be open and vulnerable to each other... to share our fears, our struggles, our frustrations, our joys, our successes, our questions... where we can learn from each other, give each other helpful advice instead of criticizing... where we can strengthen and support each other on this most difficult journey. And if this can't happen for the entire world, I wish it would happen in mine! I wish I could find a group of mothers to surround myself with where we could lean on each other and grow together.
So, I do have a challenge to any mother reading this: Let's change the way we communicate with each other! Let's change the way we look at each other! Instead, let's support each other. Let's stop the judging and just admit to each other that we ALL make mistakes and that we ALL don't have the answers. Will you join me on this journey? Will you join me in being vulnerable as a mother? Will you support me instead of criticise me? Will you help me grow as a mother? Will you journey along with me and choose to learn and grow and become the mothers that we long to be?
I have always found this rather odd... yet, I also find myself caught up in this mess. I don't know why I feel that my children have to be better than everyone else's... why my children have to reach every milestone before every other child does. I don't know why I feel like I have to be a better mother than other mothers... or have all the answers. Honestly, getting caught up in all of it makes me feel even more stressed. I feel like I have to be the better mother... mother of the year. And sadly, I fall way short of that often!!
The really sad thing is the disservice myself and many other mothers do by trying to hide our faults and failures and struggles. Why can't motherhood be a learning experience, where we share what we are struggling with? Why can't we share our failures? Our fears? Why can't we use these as learning experiences? Why can't we use motherhood as a way to reach out to other mothers and form this strong bond where we become allies and cheerleaders for each other... where we help strengthen each other so that our children and ourselves can be even better?
That is my dream... a world where we as mothers can allow ourselves to be open and vulnerable to each other... to share our fears, our struggles, our frustrations, our joys, our successes, our questions... where we can learn from each other, give each other helpful advice instead of criticizing... where we can strengthen and support each other on this most difficult journey. And if this can't happen for the entire world, I wish it would happen in mine! I wish I could find a group of mothers to surround myself with where we could lean on each other and grow together.
So, I do have a challenge to any mother reading this: Let's change the way we communicate with each other! Let's change the way we look at each other! Instead, let's support each other. Let's stop the judging and just admit to each other that we ALL make mistakes and that we ALL don't have the answers. Will you join me on this journey? Will you join me in being vulnerable as a mother? Will you support me instead of criticise me? Will you help me grow as a mother? Will you journey along with me and choose to learn and grow and become the mothers that we long to be?
Greetings and Salutations
Hello from one busy mom! I find it hard to even sit and type out any sort of post, but I also know that I need to for my sanity... I need to get my thoughts down... my feelings down... the goings on in my life.
Most likely, no one will care but me... but maybe there will be one or two that find an interest or a commonality in something that I write. I hope that someone finds something that I say useful, and feels that maybe they can add their own thoughts or feelings on what we go through as moms.
Motherhood... we really are in a class of our own! But I will get more into that in a later post perhaps!
For now, greetings! I hope to get to know you as you get to know me along this journey. I am a happily married mom of 2 beautiful boys. My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years... our oldest son, M, is almost 3... our youngest son, J, is 4 months old. 2 boys... wow, never thought I would be the mom of 2 boys!! But I am finding that I absolutely love it. I love being a mom... love my children so much! But I also feel that I have a lot of growing to do at becoming the parent that I dream of... again, something for another time. I work full time, which always adds to the mix of being a mother, and makes it that much for of a challenge.
So that is me. You will get to know me more as we travel together. I look forward to this journey with you... look forward to getting some much needed thoughts and feelings down... look forward to learning and growing!
Most likely, no one will care but me... but maybe there will be one or two that find an interest or a commonality in something that I write. I hope that someone finds something that I say useful, and feels that maybe they can add their own thoughts or feelings on what we go through as moms.
Motherhood... we really are in a class of our own! But I will get more into that in a later post perhaps!
For now, greetings! I hope to get to know you as you get to know me along this journey. I am a happily married mom of 2 beautiful boys. My husband and I have been married for almost 8 years... our oldest son, M, is almost 3... our youngest son, J, is 4 months old. 2 boys... wow, never thought I would be the mom of 2 boys!! But I am finding that I absolutely love it. I love being a mom... love my children so much! But I also feel that I have a lot of growing to do at becoming the parent that I dream of... again, something for another time. I work full time, which always adds to the mix of being a mother, and makes it that much for of a challenge.
So that is me. You will get to know me more as we travel together. I look forward to this journey with you... look forward to getting some much needed thoughts and feelings down... look forward to learning and growing!
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